My eyes swelled with tears as I grasped the piece of paper that would change my life forever. The few simple words printed on the page were like an awakening, a spiritual realization of the true meaning of my life. They alone held the key to my destiny.
“You’re a f****** toolbox! Enon Forever!”
Sigh ... my first hate mail.
This year has been full of ups and downs in the entertainment world, and I’ve been lucky enough to cover a few of them as a simple reporter for the A&E section here at The Daily Athenaeum. For the benefit of those who didn’t read my stories throughout the year as well as those of you with nothing else to read but this paper all week, I will recount some of the most notable stories I wrote about. So, without further ado, my biggest headlines of the year.
Argument=Good, Enon= Bad
I admit that I have been a little partial to the Argument this year, but with good reason. These guys are the best thing Morgantown has to offer in terms of pop/rock, and their stock just keeps going up. Make sure you see them while you can, because they’re going to be bigger than the Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC and Rick James put together.
Enon, on the other hand, was probably the worst band I reviewed (although the Drive-By Truckers and i5 were close behind). The only reason I mention them is because three people were polite enough to send me hate mail for my review of a CD I labeled “drunken crap rock.” Just for the record, I stand by my decision and deny all allegations that I am, in fact, a toolbox.
Take the last Train to Sucksville
The mediocre pop group Train came to the Creative Arts Center’s Concert Theatre this year amid a wave of ambivalence. Their show was entirely unimpressive, as lead singer Patrick Monahan pranced about the stage like a wounded swan and excessively rubbed himself. Long periods of silence and painful discomfort followed. ...
Donna D’Errico picks Danny over me
It was the chance of a lifetime — interview model/actress Donna D’Errico for a story on BattleBots, Comedy Central’s hit robot combat show. Thanks marching band ... because of a trip to Charleston for a demo show, the assignment went to Associate Editor Danny Forinash, who proceeded to ask her who would win in a fight between a BattleBot and a Baywatch babe. Just for the record, I was going to ask her what Bot she would send after David Hasselhoff. My money was on Vlad the Impaler.
You’re welcome, Nelly Furtado
11/16/00—The review of Whoa, Nelly!, the debut album of Portuguese sensation Nelly Furtado, runs in The Daily Athenaeum. People mocked me, asking things like, “What’s a Nelly Furtado?” and such and such. I ignored them and gave her album a nine.
Now, five and a half months later, she’s a superstar. Coincidence? I think not. I’m awaiting my royalty checks.
Pick up your belongings and move on up
There’s so much else to talk about, but so little time. Just a few quick notes: Rod Stewart’s too old to rap, Virginia Coalition rocks and the CAC puts on some mighty fine productions. For now, though, I will retire to my secret lair to plan for the future and pray for an A in Poli Sci 214. Good luck on your finals, and see you next year!